Down the Rabbit Hole With Ren – Sick Boi With A Riveting Story Taking Over The World!
Who the hell is Ren?
Just follow Ren’s instagram and you will quickly realise how most of the world are rather late to the party – jaws dropped in awe with the discovery of this rare and idiosyncratic talent.
I’m not going to lie, it was the same for me when I accidently stumbled upon Ren’s music video for ‘Hi Ren‘ a few months ago. Initially, I experienced a kind of wtf moment, like what did I just see… and then I replayed it…. again, and again, and found myself SOLD – positively Ren-merized!
Once you start searching YouTube you will be in awe as to just how much Ren tracks are out there, I’ve probably doubled my playlist in the space of three days!
Unapologetically Ren, relatable and raw, this young man is fearless, brutally honest and about to be the biggest name on the music scene worldwide as the very next prodigy of ART marrying music and THE most gorgeous face for mental health awareness!
I’m hoping I have Ren’s timeline more correct than not, but if a few things are slightly off course, do forgive me.
Born 29 March 1990 in Bangor, Gwynedd, Wales, raised in Dwyran, on the island of Anglesey, 33 year old Ren Erin Gill began his music career as a young teen by teaching himself how to play guitar and selling home made beats on CD. He eventually moved to Bath to study music performance and created an indie hip-hop band, Trick The Fox, consisting of Ren, and friend Charlie Fowler and a bit later on, Tom Frampton
Sick Boi Ren and Shattered Dreams
In 2009 Ren got a lucky break by being discovered whilst busking by Eric Appapoulay (Mauritian born British singer, songwriter, composer, arranger, programmer, multi-instrumentalist and guitarist), which led to him being offered a recording contract with Sony Records. Ren then left for London and began work on his debut album with band mate, Charlie at Sanctuary studio in South London. The lads got to work writing tracks, touring, and eventually, recording. They also welcomed Tom Frampton to join Trick The Fox at this time.
Struggling with enervating bouts of illness since 2009, Ren spent years trying to find answers to what was ailing him – to no avail. He eventually became too sick to complete recording the album, and Sony sadly dropped the contract. He moved back home, most likely to be with family through the most trying time of his life.
All would have gone well for the young bloods of Trick The Fox, had it not been for Ren’s debilitating illness. He released a heart warming letter to his followers on Twitter’s “Twit Long” explaining his deterioration and exit from the scene.
Ren’s illness would leave him mostly bed ridden and trapped in four walls, watching life evade him, only able to briefly leave his bed an hour a day at times. This continued throughout his growing years.
After being diagnosed with M.E. (Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome) and mis-diagnosed with a string of other illness’s, numerous times over, Dr after Dr, he was eventually diagnosed with Lyme disease by a specialist in Brussels.
He continued to write music and record from his sick bed and went on to release his sixteen track debut solo album ‘Freckled Angels‘ in 2016. The album is said to be dedicated to a very dear friend, Joe Hughes, who had passed away in 2010.
The Comeback
In 2017 Ren was back at it, and even featured in a movie called ‘Unrest‘, A documentary on chronic fatigue syndrome by a fellow disease sufferer – journalist and academic, Jennifer Brea .
One day she is struck down by a fever that leaves her bedridden. Doctors tell her that it is all in her head, so she decides to start recording herself in search for answers and seeking a cure. Ren was suffering the same struggles. His song ‘Patience‘ was included in the movie soundtrack.
Whilst working on a solo career, Ren could be found busking once again with his fab and charismatic indie rock & roll band named The Big Push.
The four piece rockers consisted of Ren, Romain Axisa, Gorran Kendall, (who alternated doing vocals) and drummer, Glenn Chambers. Gaining recognition on Ship street and New road, Brighton, The Big Push started uploading their pavement performances to YouTube.
They became extremely popular, not only on the streets, but accumulated a massive following on YouTube as well, the videos took off worldwide and this quickly got them added to line-ups for legit gigs, starting with a sold out show in 2019 at Chalk, Brighton.
See Ren and fellow Busker Liv Sangster living their best life jamming on Brighton Beach
Come 2020, The Big Push performed to a full-house at 02 Academy, Islington – a live music venue inside a shopping center, hosting rock and pop acts and weekly club nights – and in the following year, on 30 June 2021, the band released their debut EP titled ‘Can Do Will Do‘, recorded at Seaside studios (Brighton) which was released via XVII Music Group.
The EP consisted of six tracks, namely: ‘Watch Out‘, ‘Xbox Marijuana‘, ‘Mannequin‘, ‘When She Goes‘, ‘All My Heroes‘ & ‘Precious‘.
The lead track off the EP titled ‘Watch out‘ garnered 1 million streams by that October! That same year, the band set out on a sold out Tour which was unfortunately cut short due to two of the band members testing positive for covid.
Ren’s April 2020 release of Money Game also created traction, gaining major popularity via a “Luigi clone” based on the ‘Sea Shells’ verse which eventually became a meme in March 2021.
Throughout 2022 The Big Push were back at ’em, making music and illuminating the streets of Brighton! They were also set to perform their largest stage show ever at The Brighton Dome on 9th September.
But then the announcement….on the 31st August, they publicly informed their fans that The Big Push would be no more.
The band had run it’s course – with difficulties arising due to Ren’s Lyme disease, distance, and other personal issues. They officially disbanded that September, but it is said the streets of Brighton saw them together one more time on the 14th December 2022.
Will the Real Ren Gill Please Stand up!
I’m not going to get into all the phenomenal music releases from Ren over the period of last year or earlier this year (ok, maybe a few still coming coz I just keep being blown away) as my main intention has been to get down to business on the song that has me positively ren-merized.
On the 15th of December 2022 Ren unleashed an unadulterated masterpiece titled ‘Hi Ren‘ with official music video, created by mastermind Cinematographer – Samuel Perry-Falvey. Samuel is a freelance Director of Photography based in the UK, working internationally on Narrative and Commercial Videos. You can contact him HERE. He travels!
The video : ‘Hi Ren‘ is nothing short of mind blowing – hitting hard and shaking up viewers all over the world, to the point of tears mostly. Yes indeed, I’ve seen grown men cry on some of these reaction videos!
A deep and poetical theatre – meets – cinema performance, where the internal dialogue between Ren and his inner demons unfold – adopted through years of struggle, both physically and mentally. Voices most of us can relate to, or may have experienced at one time or another, that fill us with self-doubt, self loathing and outright hopelessness.
Give this intensely emotive video a look see – take your front row seat into Ren’s beautiful mind vs. his dark and nihilistic alter-ego !
‘Hi Ren’ Lyrics
Hi there Ren
Its been a little while,
Did you miss me?
You thought you’d buried me, didn’t you? Risky…
Because I always come back
Deep down you know that…
Deep down you know I’m always in periphery
Ren aren’t you pleased to see me?
It’s been weeks since we spoke bro, you know you need me
You’re the sheep, I’m the shepherd
Not your place to lead me
Not your place to be biting off the hand that feeds me
Hi Ren
I’ve been taking some time to be distant
I’ve been taking some time to be still
I’ve been taking some time to be by myself
Since my therapist told me I’m ill
I’ve been making some progress lately,
And I’ve learnt some new coping skills
So I haven’t really needed you much man
I think we need to just step back and chill
Ren, you sound more insane than I do
You think that those doctors are really there to guide you?
Been through this a million times
Your civilian mind is so perfect at always being lied to
Okay, take another pill boy
Drown yourself in the sound of white noise
Follow this 10 step program, rejoice!
All your problems will be gone! Fucking dumb boy
Nah mate, this time it’s different man trust me
I feel like things might be falling in place
And my music’s been kinda doing bits too
Like I actually might do something great
And when I’m gone maybe I’ll be remembered
For doing something special with myself
That’s why I don’t think that we should talk man
Cause when your with me it never seems to help
You think that you can amputate me?
I am you, you are me, you are I, I am we
We are one, split in two that makes one so you see
You got to kill you if you wanna kill me.
I’m not left over dinner, I’m not scraps on the side,
Oh your music is thriving? Delusional guy!
Where’s your top ten hit? Where’s your interview with Oprah?
Where are your grammy’s Ren?
Nowhere!
Yeah but, my music’s not commercial like that
I never chased numbers, statistics or stats
I Never write hooks for the radio, they never even play me
So why would I concern myself with that?
But my music is really connecting,
And the people who find it respect it,
And for me that’s enough ’cause this life’s been tough
So it gives me a purpose I can rest in
Man you sound so pretentious!
Ren your music is so self centered,
No one wants to hear another song about
How much you hate yourself… trust me
You should be so lucky having me inside you to guide you,
Remind you to manage expectations,
Provide you perspective, that thing you neglected, I get it
You wanna be a big deal… Next Jimi Hendrix? forget it
Man it’s not like that
Man it’s just like that I’m inside you you twat!
Nah it’s not man your wrong, when I write I belong
Let me break the fourth wall by acknowledging this song
Ren sits down,
Has a stroke of genius,
He wants to write a song that was not done previous
A battle with his subconscious…
Eminem did it!
Played on guitar
Plan B did it!
Man you’re not original you criminal, rip off artist,
The pinnacle of your success is stealing other people’s material
Ren mate we’ve heard it all before
Oh “she sell sea shells on the sea shore”
Fuck you I don’t need you, I don’t need to hear this,
Cause I’m fine by myself, I’m a genius!
And I will be great, and I will make waves
And I’ll shake up the whole world beneath us
That’s right speak your truth,
Your fucking God complex leaks out of you
It’s refreshing to actually hear you say it!
Instead of down play it
“Oh the music Is all about the creative process
And if people can find something to relate to
Within that then that’s just a bonus”
Fuck you I’m a fucking kill you Ren
Well fucking kill me then
Let’s fucking have you Ren
I’m a do it, watch me prove it, who are you to doubt my music?
‘Cause I call the shots I choose if you die
Yeah I call the shots and so I choose who survives
I’ll tie you up in knots then I’ll lock you inside
News flash…
I was created at the dawn of creation,
I am temptation
I am the snake in Eden,
I am the reason for treason
Beheading all Kings,
I am sin with no rhyme or reason,
Sun of the morning, Lucifer,
Antichrist, father of lies,
Mephistopheles,
Truth in a blender,
Deceitful pretender,
The Banished avenger,
The righteous surrender
When standing in-front of my solar eclipse,
My name it is stitched to your lips so see
I won’t bow to the will of a mortal, feeble and normal
You wanna kill me? I’m eternal, immortal
I live in every decision that catalysed chaos
That causes division
I live inside death, the beginning of ends
I am you, you are me, I am you Ren
Hi Ren… I’ve been taking some time to be distant,
I’ve been taking some time to be still
I’ve been taking some time to be by myself
And I’ve spent half my life ill
But just as sure as the tide starts turning
Just as sure as the night has dawn
Just as sure as rain fall soon runs dry
When you stand in the eye of the storm
I was made to be tested and twisted
I was made to be broken and beat
And you know me my will is eternal
And you know me you’ve met Me before
Face to with a beast I will rise from the east
And I’ll settle on the ocean floor
And I go by many names also
Some people know me as hope
Some people know me as the voice that you hear
When u loosen the noose on the rope
And you know how I know how I know that I’ll prosper?
Because I stand here beside you today
I have stood in the flames that cremated my brain
And I didn’t once flinch or shake
So cower at the man I’ve become
When I sing from the top of my lungs
That I won’t retire I’ll stand in your fire
Inspire the weak to be strong
And when I am gone I will rise
In the music that I left behind
Ferocious persistent, immortal like you
We’re a coin with two different sides!
” When I was 17 years old I shouted out into an empty room,
Into a blank canvas, that I would defeat the forces of evil,
And for the next 10 years of my life I suffered the consequences…
With autoimmunity, Illness, and psychosis. As I got older I realised that there were no real winners and there were no real losers in physiological warfare
But there were victims and there were students. It wasn’t David verses Goliath, it’s was a pendulum, eternally Swaying from the dark to the light, And the more intensely that the light shone, the darker the shadow it cast.
It was never really a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance, And like a dance, the more rigid I became the harder it got. The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps the more I struggled. So I got older and I learned to relax, And I learned to soften, and that dance got easier It is this eternal dance that separates human beings. From angels, from demons, from Gods And I must not forget… WE must not forget, that we are human beings.”
And there you have it!
I would love to climb into your mind right now to assess your thoughts and realize your emotions – I know they are there, processing. It is incredible watching all the reaction videos on all the different platforms as everyone tends to be effected in a similar way. You will probably want to go and hit replay about now, feel free, we all did it, we understand!
On another note regarding ‘Hi Ren‘, he received some heat with CNN’s public deception regarding the song. They had the audacity to unfairly misconstrue his message by using a few seconds of it in an educational video for parents, regarding dangerous tiktok content and it’s influence on young children! This, without even playing the entire song, just sneakily using a few seconds to imply it “promotes suicide”!!!
Facepalm! Are they for real right now!
Funny enough, even with CNN smearing their dirty paws on the song, it continues to go viral, POSITIVELY viral – reaching 6.8 million views in two months of release, it now stands at 14 million views after 5 months! All of this without a label or top notch PR – just Ren’s work, speaking for itself…no…let me reword that….it’s SCREAMING!!
The song was written, performed and directed by Ren. It is most likely the life changing breakthrough he was waiting for his entire life, and NOTHING can stop his irrefutable success unfolding across the globe at this moment, as I unpack his story.
As the old adage goes, “even bad press is good press”, and judging from his army of fans responses and vocal retaliation against the CNN/TikTok saga, they certainly relate to and grasp Ren’s intended message, expressing their abhorrence across social media regarding the use of the song in a derogatory light.
As someone who hears hundreds of songs a month, I perceived the track as nothing short of the bravest declaration of HOPE! For himself, and for others.
A heart wrenching tale of a young mans struggle with his illness, despising his unwilling body that continues to cheat him out of a full and healthy life. Robbing him daily of his dreams and ambition, an exhausted soul, with a war ravaging his beautiful mind with continuous assault and defeatism..
But then…. the outright acceptance. The Quiet! It’s beautiful. He reaches the plateau, clawing his way out of the fiery pits of hell!
Ren patently conveys the message that life and it’s struggles are not a win or lose situation, but an eternal dance that one learns the steps to! Stumbling at first with clumsy feet, then slowly but surely relaxing.
It’s like falling into quicksand if you will – the struggling causes one to sink faster and deeper. But being still, it slows the sinking, and in his scenario, allowed for the softening of the human psyche, the discovery of his own humanity! Finding inner peace through learning the dance, even it’s intricate and sometimes arduous steps – one becomes a better human through all of it!
I remain eternally grateful for the song appearing out of nowhere on my YouTube channel – nearly 20 years his senior, I take away a gift. A profound message delivering renewed inner strength within myself through his story, so thank you Ren. Thank you!
” It was never a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance,And like a dance, the more rigid I became the harder it gotThe more I cursed my clumsy footsteps the more I suffered
And so I got older and I learned to relax,And I learned to soften,
and that dance got easier
It is this eternal waltz that separates human beingsFrom angels, from demons, from Gods
And I must not forget, we must not forget, that we are human beings. “
During the years trapped inside with chronic health problems the main thing that kept me going was a belief that one day I would come out the other side, and be able to achieve success through music.
I don’t have a label, and sometimes pushing these things as hard as I want becomes a massive challenge, and I find myself frustrated that there aren’t enough hours in the day to push it as far as I want to.
I would love to ask a favour to anyone who has ever enjoyed my music over the years, and it will only take a few minutes of your day.
It would mean the world to me if you shared ‘Hi Ren’ as much as you can, over social media platforms, with friends, over email.
Together, and with your help I can hopefully reach people all over the world, and get one step closer to the dream I always had! ~ Ren
What The World is saying
Watch an American film makers review on Samuel Perry-Falvey’s superb cinematic creation of ‘Hi Ren’ HERE
Watch a therapist reacting and unpacking ‘Hi Ren‘ HERE
Watch professional opera singer Elizabeth Zharoff’s reaction to ‘Hi Ren‘ HERE
Rapper Knox Hill Reacts to ‘Hi Ren‘ (Full Analysis) HERE
Video and online comments
“Ren, as a physician I would like to thank you for this monumental exploration of the human condition. This is exactly what those of us that have suffered with psychic distress needed. Shame on CNN and their editorial and journalistic malpractice in creating the impression that your music is somehow dangerous to those having suicidal ideation.
Of course, anything and anyone can be blamed for romanticizing self-harm but in my professional opinion, there is a greater therapeutic healing associated with an honest approach to this subject. CNN should be ashamed of themselves.” ~ Rafael Garcia MD
” I’ve seen this one random night before going home from work 5 months ago. The thing that happened next was nothing I have ever experienced in my life. Your music has wrapped itself around the carcass of a person that was left of me, and is still singing, creating the wind that keeps me up, lifted above the abyss. I didn’t need therapy, I didn’t ” ~
” This masterpiece affects me on a deep psychological level. I know I’m not just listening to music. This is humility, this is humanity. Look, I don’t even have the words. This is holistic. I can’t even find the words to express how impactful this is to me. I am blown TF away. ” ~
The Goosebump Duet of 2021
Chalk Outline by Ren featuring Chinchilla
Chichilla is a phenomenal London-based urban pop artist with a vocal range second to none! What a marriage of perfection when she comes together with Ren. This is not their first song together, just my favourite!
The song once again speaks of true life experiences from Ren’s continuous hell, and the use of prescription drugs due to the cycle of Doctor’s misdiagnosing and medicating him over and over again. Left numb and sedated, the chalk outline represents him feeling dead, even though he is alive. It also speaks of the addiction of these medications, anxiety and the fear of living without them. It’s deep. It’s real.
Ren On The Rise in 2023
In February this year, amongst other phenomenal releases such as ‘Illest of our time‘ and Sickboi, Ren premiered his very own retake of The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony which was Filmed by Luke Flegg.
The track was made just for the fun of it, and the love he has for the original version. Just another side to the multi-faceted gem that Ren is.
On 4th May, Ren released his latest single titled ‘Animal Flow‘, seeing the official music video reaching 4 Million audio streams and a whopping 10 Million YouTube views in less than 5 months.
I think it’s safe to say the he has secured a stable and ever growing following, and so he should – even though his health struggles may continue to plague him, his dream is being realised as we continue to share his story and the fabulousness that is Ren Gill, I truly hope this brings him some comfort as he currently undergoes treatment in Canada.
I personally commit myself to Ren’s plight, to do my part by making this rare walking, talking work of art be known to as many people I can reach, by bringing his story to others as I KNOW it is literally changing people’s perspective of their own suffering.
His path HAS been a rose garden, where thorns prick and he bleeds, but the beautiful scent and sight of the roses make it worth the while at the end of it all. A journey of hope that will in some way help someone else hang on for another tomorrow. We need you Ren.
Download/Stream ‘Animal Flow‘ HERE / Official Music Video HERE / Watch Live acoustic version of ‘Animal Flow‘ HERE
Website
YouTube
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